Sunday, June 28, 2009

Puns For Smarties

My e-mail provided me with another bit of humor. This is the second time I have received this list, so it's been around awhile. I laughed the second time and maybe you will too.

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1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'


16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'


17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21 A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

8 comments:

suresh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Looking to the Stars said...

I loved the jokes and the title, thanks for a good laugh :)

Ugich Konitari said...

Darlene, Thanks for the laughs this morning (its already Thu morning here). Had seen some of these earlier too, but the King Arthur stuff was really great.....:-)

Marie Reed said...

Ahhhh! I've never heard any of these!I'm going to send this link to my Father. He is the punniest man I knwo:)

Nancy said...

Darlene,

All good ones. I loved them all....

How about: Two batteries walk into a bar and the bartender says,"All right, I'll serve you guys, but DON'T START ANYTHING."

Darlene said...

*Looking to the Stars - you're welcome.

*Ugich - I liked the King Arthur one too.

*Marie Reed - Thank you for the visit. I hope you will come back. I hope your father will enjoy these puns.

*Nancy - Good one!

kenju said...

They are all funny!!

Darlene said...

*Kenju - I thought so, too.