Monday, February 16, 2009

Larry, the Cable Guy

John McCain and Sarah Palin may claim Joe the Plumber as their source of wisdom; I'll take the teaching of Larry, the Cable Guy. What do you think?

The Wisdom Of Larry, The Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.


Joy Des Jardins said...

Oh these are GREAT! Larry is definitely wise beyond his years...and his rolled-up shirt sleeves. I think our Cable Guy is channeling into a MUCH higher source. Thanks Darlene.... Hugs, Joy

Anonymous said...

Wow, Darlene, what a listing! Thanks for sharing some happy laughs with us.
Cop Car

Looking to the Stars said...

Larry the Cable Guy is the greatest. I got a laugh out of every one. thanks for sharing!

20th Century Woman said...

Definitely a lot better than Joe the plumber. I wonder what would be worse than J the P. Can't imagine. Thanks, and keep on keeping on!

Darlene said...

Thanks to all of you who shared the laughs. It's the best medicine, you know. ;-)

ugich konitari said...

Darlene, when is Larry the cable guy going to stand for election ? So much more interesting than waving to Putin from Alaska....LOL

Sylvia K said...

Oh, Darlene! absolutely the best! and just what I needed! I have laughed so hard. Thank you!

Darlene said...

Thank you, Ugich for your funny comment.

Sylvia, I am happy I could share a laugh with you.

The photo of Larry vanished after the first posting. I saved it so does anyone know why this happens?

Nancy said...


I love Larry, too.
One of my favorites is:

"The light at the end of the tunnel might be a speeding locomotive."