Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Reality Laws

I got this in an e-mail and I am sure everyone will agree with these laws.


THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY


& Murphy's Law - (The Mother of all Laws)
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.


&
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


&
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


&
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.


&
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


&
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).


&
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


&
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


&
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


&
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


&
Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


&
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


&
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


&
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


&
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


&
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


&
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


&
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. If you don't make an appointment, you'll stay sick.

6 comments:

Joy Des Jardins said...

I LOVE THIS LIST Darlene. So many are true....but I particularly agree with the Doctor's Law, Law of the Bath and the Variation Law....and of course Murphy's Law.

Great! Thanks.

Tabor said...

Most of these are true for me. I think I figured out why I cannot have blogger link to your blog. Your blog title/header is not a link for some reason. At least I cannot click on it and can only click on the posts and maybe that is what blogger does.

Lydia said...

A great list indeed! In a bit of a twist on the Law of the Alibi, when I was in college I had a part time job at a Savings & Loan. My uncle came to town and offered a ski day, so I skipped classes and called in sick at work. I fell on the mountain and hurt my leg badly, had to be lifted off by the ski patrol, x-rayed (no break), casted for a bad sprain....
You get the idea. I had to explain this at work the next day. :(

Darlene said...

Joy, whatever can go wrong will; especially when it comes to the computer. ;-)

Tabor, I think I might have goofed up somewhere in setting this up. I am such a novice at blogging. I don't know how to fix the problem.

Lydia, although it isn't funny being hurt so badly, you did get yourself in a fix. Oh what a tangled web, etc.

One Woman's Journey said...

Love this Darlene. Most true for me. Especially the one about doctor. Most of the time I am well after I make an appointment.

Looking to the Stars said...

I love it! every law applies and espically Wisons Marketing :)