Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Newfoundland Medical Dictionery

I am starting my second year of blogging with a smile. I hope to end it that way, too.

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People in Newfoundland have the Lowest Stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously, you are going to die anyway, so live life and drink till you cannot lift your own mug!

Newfoundland Dictionery

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die

Benign........................ What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section........ A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty

Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her

Colic.......................... A sheep dog

Coma........................... A punctuation mark

Dilate......................... To live long

Enema..........................Not a friend

Fester......................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula......................... A small lie

Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain................... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff................. A Doctor's cane

Morbid........................ A higher offer

Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates

Node........................... I knew it

Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted

Pelvis................. ........ Second cousin to Elvis s

Post Operative............ A letter carrier

Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery

Rectum......................... Nearly killed him

Secretion...................... Hiding something

Seizure........................ Roman emperor

Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport

Tablet.......................a small table

Tumor........................ One plus one more

Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out

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I saw you smiling.

13 comments:

Vagabonde said...

Your Newfoundland Medical Dictionary is great! I’m copying it and sending it to my daughter who is a physician in her last year of residency and takes life and her trade very/or too seriously. My husband and I visited Newfoundland last July and we loved it there. It is wild and beautiful. The few people we met were very friendly (can’t tell if they were stressed or not).

Joy Des Jardins said...

Oh, I'm sorry you started your new year with problems already Darlene. I know it's terribly frustrating when you can't figure something out; but this Newfoundland Medical Dictionery is wonderful....very funny. I love it. Thanks for posting it even through your frustrations. ~Joy

Maggie said...

Easy for those of us who are blind to read tho. :) Yes, laughing./....I cannot get my header to fit.

Darlene said...

*Vagabonde - I hope your daughter sees the humor.

*Joy - Frustrations seem to be part of the game when blogging. After a year you would think I had would have solved this kind of problem.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

heheh! Its easier to read..so its just fine! And the jokes are great!!

Betty said...

I'm glad you didn't give up. Funny post.

Looking to the Stars said...

I love it!!! laughed at every one of them. Thanks!
I can't get my posts to print any bigger then it does, I gave up. You hang in there, I loved the large print :)

Sylvia K said...

Love your post for today, Darlene, and yes, I am not just smiling but laughing out loud. However, I do understand your frustration with the computer! Have enough of those problems myself! Hope they get solved quickly. In the meantime, I'm going to laugh some more! And thanks for that!

Nancy said...

Thank God for the large print,Darlene.

I can't find my glasses so the size of the print is perfect.

Loved the definitions.

joared said...

Your problem with print type not appearing as you want sounds like a problem I've experienced in the past. I just concluded Blogger wouldn't allow it.

Funny medical dictionary. Hope the rest of your second year of blogging goes more to your liking.

Ugich Konitari said...

Darlene,

That was really funny. Enjoyed it so much....

About that large type. Did you try clicking on the Edit Html thing on the page next to Compose ? Just go there and wipe out any tags in html, stuff between < and >. Then try previewing. It happened to me once and this solved it.

(Frequently happens if you are copying something someone has sent you, which could be pre formatted, and you dont see the html tags in Compose mode. Sometimes one even gets underlines that dont go. This method works....Hope this helps)

Rain said...

On the logistics of your editing problem, when copy pasting something from another source, go to the edit html and carefully remove all the codes, even those you think you want. Get it down to the bare bones of the text. Then put in the paragraphs or anything you want in either the edit mode or go back to compose. There are often hidden codes that make it very difficult to get the text all the same size. I hope that helps.

Darlene said...

Thank you Ugich and Rain for the tip on how to change the size of the type. As you can see, I have followed your helpful instructions and it is better.

Because everyone has probably seen it by now I am not going to further edit it. I would have done so if it was a current post.