Friday, November 20, 2009

The Laws

I am weary of the talking heads on TV when all they can do is parrot each other on inane subjects like the Balloon Boy, Sarah Palin and her book of fantasy and other useless subjects.  I think if the world were coming to an end and Betty Boop were reincarnated we would hear about Betty endlessly and there would only be a brief notice in passing that this was to be our last day on earth.

On second thought, that might be news because it's dramatic.  The news is, after all, about entertainment.  It would be most entertaining to see people panic.

Okay, I'm exaggerating.   I am not exaggerating when I state that I am not the only person who doesn't have a clue about what to do about the economy.  This morning's NY Times had two diametriclly opposite views on whether Timothy Gaithner had done a good job or not.  Paul Krugman, a Nobel Prize winning economistn said 'no' and David Brooks, Conservative columnist, said 'yes.' 

I confess, David Brooks is a conservative whom I admire and read.  He presents his case with thoughtful reason.  Having said that, I would rather go with an economist's opinion than a columnists.

If you want to read the op-ed pieces here are the links:

I will leave it to the experts to fight it out.  All I know is that I haven't seen it this bad since I was a child during the Great Depression.  Call me a pessimist, but I am very sure it is going to get much worse for the average guy before it gets better.  

Since I am unable to make a rational comment on this I will leave you with some giggles to take your mind off of the depressing news.


 Law of Mechanical Repair:  After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 

 Law of Gravity:  Any small important part when dropped, will roll to the most inaccessible place.

Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 Law of Random Numbers:  If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal, and someone always answers.

 Law of the Alibi:  If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 

Law of the Bath:  When a body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. 

Law of Close Encounters:  The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are already with someone you shouldn't be with.

 Law of the Result:  When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

 Law of Bio-mechanics:  The severity of an itch is directly proportional to the square of the difficulty to reach it. 

 Law of the Theater:  At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. 

Starbuck's Law:  As soon as you sit down to enjoy a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will take until the coffee has become cold.

 Murphy's Law of Lockers:  If there are only two people in a locker room, they will be issued immediately adjacent lockers. 

Law of Physical Surfaces:  The possibility of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering directly correlates to the combined newness and value of the carpet. 

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance:  If the shoe fits, it's ugly. 

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy:  As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 

 Doctors' Law:  If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there, you will have recovered. If you don't make an appointment to see the doctor, you will get worse. 

 Law of Logical Argument:  Anything is always possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 Law of Healthy Food:   If it tastes good, spit it out.


Paula said...

You made MY day! I'm a fan of David Brooks, too, and enjoy seeing him point/counterpoint with Mark Sheild on PBS' The Lehrer Report. But, since the election, they've seemed to get closer and closer in point of view, don't you think?
Not that that is a bad thing, just interesting, because they're both very bright and respectful of each other.

Paula said...

Make that Shield. I should always proof. Type way too fast.

Granny Annie said...

You say: "All I know is that I haven't seen it this bad since I was a child during the Great Depression." You were a toddler then. I would like to know what you experienced and how much you were affected by the Great Depression that is like now or is worse now. The one thing that has to be worse is that in the Great Depression at least there was hope. Right now there is only hopelessness. During the Great Depression people were allowed to call on their faith to sustain them. Now we can't even mention our faith. It's scary!

Here you said it best: "Law of Logical Argument: Anything is always possible if you don't know what you are talking about." and we've got a lot of that going around.

Lydia said...

I don't have the stamina to read those right now but will probably do so over the weekend. I appreciate David Brooks in spite of wondering about my liberal brain!

Law of the Shower: While standing with hair under water for shampoo it will be time for Bonbon, chocolate Standard Poodle and protector-extraordinaire, to begin barking and bawling madly in the living room.

Darlene said...

*Paula - I always watch David Brooks and Mark Shield on Friday night on the News Hour, too. I agree, the best part is that they show respect.

*Granny Annie - It's true I was only 4 years old when the crash occurred, but the Depression lasted until WW II and I was 14 years old then. I know how people went hungry, suffered, and were hopeless. You are living in a fantasy world if you think people who were out of work then had hope. There wasn't even unemployment compensation or Social Security until Roosevelt pushed it through.

You said, During the Great Depression people were allowed to call on their faith to sustain them" Why do you think they can't,or don't, now? Religious people who rely on faith are always free to pray or worship as they see fit.

Why do you think you can't mention your faith? Freedom of religion is still the law of the land the last time I looked.

*Lydia - Law of the shower. Ha! Ha! I have a Law of the Commode -Why does the telephone or doorbell always ring when I am sitting on the throne?

Darlene said...

Correction to Granny Annie - I was 16 years old when WW II started. Most of my childhood was spent during the Great Depression. I vividly remember the privation and hardship. I could write a treatise on that era. I was greatly affected by it and 'waste not, want not' is my mantra.

Granny Annie said...

Seriously Darlene, "I would like to know what you experienced and how much you were affected by the Great Depression that is like now or is worse now." I hope you will z'write a treatise on that era."

I slipped here because I was determined not to comment on any of your political posts. We differ so greatly but I love your writing and value your friendship. We are all shaped by the visions of our own experiences and non shall be swayed.

Darlene said...

*Granny Annie - It looks like you have just given me a subject for a post. Thank you. We are able to disagree agreeably. I value your friendship, also.

trillium said...

I also believe that we are living through the greater depression. I intend to get through by being as frugal as possible. Another hard candy Christmas, postpone retirement as long as possible, garden for least my family will get to eat. Our local church pantry can't keep up with the demand from out of work and even working folks struggling to keep their children fed. My grandmother used to tell my mom to eat her vegetables because there are starving children in europe, and my mom told me to eat because there are starving people in china. Now a days the european moms are telling their children to take their medicine because american children cannot afford to see a doctor, and mandarin momma's are telling their children to eat their rice bacause there are poor starving children in america. BTW, I love your blog, thanks

Hattie said...

My father and his sister had to fend for themselves during the Depression as young teens. My mother literally nearly starved. She passed out from hunger on the sidewalk in front of a church. The pastor took her in and helped her find work.
Those were hard times. These days we have food stamps and Medicaid and unemployment.
Then, there was nothing. Without these programs, with the huge population we have now there would be people dying everywhere. That's the truth.

Rummuser said...

I say ignore the first part and enjoy the second. Absolutely rib tickling and I thoroughly enjoyed them. Saved for posterity too. Thank you.

Rinkly Rimes said...

No wonder people are giving us conflicting 'advice'; everybody is equally in the dark! It amazes me how many experts are now popping up to say that they 'knew all along'!

Tabor said...

Only time and history will tell if we are making big mistakes or small mistakes in thsi economy. I do think we are going through a big pardigm shift on what our financial goals should be and China is already worried we are not buying like we used.

Darlene said...

*trillium - Thank you so much for your kind words. A comedian who is no longer with us (I can see his face but his name escapes me.)once said he grew fat because his mother made him clean his plate thinking of the starving Armenians. He never figured out how his eating more helped the Armenians. ;-)

*Hattie - Yes, those really were hard times. Your poor mother. I'm glad she got help. Some did not.

*Rummuser - I'm glad you appreciated the second part. :-)

*Rinkly Rimes - Hindsight is great, isn't it?

*Tabor - I think Obama has many worries about the economy.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog because of Tom Degan. I am very happy I looked it up. You are a hoot. Tom has been my friend for years, and he is a walking encyclopedia. I totally get your perspective. I am the youngest of 5. My father was a child of the depression. Even though he was a lawyer, he would mend is own socks, and he drove a VW bug. We were not showered with material wealth growing up, and I know I am a better person for it. Please keep up the good work. I will keep reading. Kathleen from CT

Darlene said...

*Kathleen - Thank you for dropping by. I do hope you will return. Tom is the real hoot. I love his blog and his satire. He really 'nails' it.