Saturday, August 16, 2008

Birth Story

Newborn Baby Mason, my latest great-grandchild

The following story is going around the Internet and is supposedly a true one as told by a teacher. True or not, it fits in with my previous post on kids and what they say. I love this one.



The best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplane, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.


Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.) 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like Psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)


Then the middle wife starts saying 'push push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

8 comments:

Nancy said...

What a beautiful baby, Darlene. And what a nice name they gave him.
I hope he has a long and happy life....

I loved the Middle wife story.....

XIA said...

nice to read your blog!
I am a chinese university student preparing for the GRE test, for I want to apply for the university in United States.

Your blog really help!thank you ~

K. said...

Cute story and even cuter baby! Congratulations!

Darlene said...

Thank you, Nancy. He is a love, isn't he?

Xia, I am so honored that you read my blog. I hope you make it to the University of your choice. We have a good one here. The Univeristy of Arizona. If you make it here write me and I will see if we can get together.

K. Thank you; Mason is a cutie.

Judy said...

The baby is absolutely beautiful and the story about the little girl is absolutely hilarious! It was so funny I could not stop laughing and I could picture that child doing all that.

Kay Dennison said...

He's a doll!!!!!! And a great story, too!!! I laughing soooo hard! Thanks!!!!!!

Joy Des Jardins said...

That story is very cute Darlene...and baby Mason is just beautiful. Congratulations Grandma....

Darlene said...

Thank you Judy, Kay and Joy.