Some friends who know that I broke my hip last November usually start their conversation with, "How are you doing?" I do not think their question is just rhetorical, but they really want to know. (Egoist that I am.)
So today I decided to post an update. To give you some idea of how I'm doing you would have to see me navigate. When I don't use my walker or cane I lurch along like a ruptured duck. I am searching for a descriptive word of my walking stance. Is it toddle, shuffle, or sway? It's probably a combination of all three. Oops - I think I have the word - it's waddle. Yeah, that's what I do. (Toddling is cute if you are a year old; not so cute if you are 83. Waddling isn't cute at any age.)
A stranger watching me would wonder what that poor inebriated old granny had to drink. Especially so, since I am reaching out with one arm toward the nearest wall in the event that my head starts to go south.
If you can visualize that and think it's funny, picture me when I try to stand up from a chair of average height. I think the best way to illustrate a visual image would be to imagine an upside down L. My upper body faces the floor while the nether regions try to stay planted on terra firma. I slowly, very slowly, shuffle my feet in a turn and follow with my bod which is, at the same time, slowly rising to a three quarter position. Eventually, my head and shoulders achieve an upright status. Well, sort of.
Oh the indignity of it all. The first time Rachel saw me do my contortions getting out of a chair she asked in a concerned voice, "Are you alright, Grandma?" I do see why she worried, having never seen such a performance before. I think I probably changed the poor girl's mind about becoming a doctor.
That's just the physical part of my recovery. Somehow, the surgeon must have decided to have a little fun while I was under his full control and drilled a hole into my brain where he removed half of my memory cells. I have been missing a lot of them since I got home.
The good news is: I haven't lost my appetite. I have only gained 8 pounds because I spend most of my time sitting at this frustrating keyboard. WhooHoo !!
Well, it's time to mount my walking horse and trek down the sidewalk to retrieve my mail. The neighbors look forward to that as it provides them with their evening entertainment.