I just returned from reading a blog on being asked for advice. I am stealing his theme and running with it.
When my children became adults I seemed to think my job wasn't over and continued to give them unasked for advice. Needless to say, this was not welcome. Still, I continued to lavish pearls of wisdom from my mouth and watching my children ignore my bounty.
I don't remember how many years it took before I learned to bite my tongue - sometimes until it bled. I finally realized that they were adults entitled to make their own mistakes. After I learned to zip my lip I discovered that they were much smarter than I had given them credit for. Somehow, without my help, they had learned how to cope with the problems that came into their lives without any input from me.
Once in awhile I was asked for advice and I gave it lavishly. I considered it a high compliment that they thought me worthy enough to seek out my thoughts. I am ashamed to admit that there have been other times when I opened my mouth and words came out sounding patronizing. I was giving unasked for advice again. I was always ashamed after losing self control like that and regretted my outburst as soon as it was over. My long suffering children have politely told me that they know I am trying to help, but I am sure their private thoughts run along the lines of "there she goes again."
Others have made comments on giving advice and the following are my favorites:
- Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong
- Some people like my advice so much that they frame it and hang it on the wall instead of using it. Gordon R. Dickson
- The best advice it this: Don't take advice and don't give advice. ~ Author unknown
- It is a good divine that follows his own instructions. William Shakespeare
- Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. Francois La Rochefoucauld
- The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others. ~Author unknown
- No one wants advice - only corroboration. John Steinbeck
- I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. Oscar Wilde.