Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Elder Humor

I am posting this before the debate so we can all have a good laugh before the stress rises.

Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 90!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter

who walks into the room.

3. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.


Joy Des Jardins said...

Oh my gosh....these are a hoot Darlene. Unfortunately, I can well relate to most of them already...hee, hee. You find some good stuff....

Kay Dennison said...

I think this one is older than we are, Darlene!!! BUT it's still a great laugh!!!!!!!

kenju said...

# 12........YES,YES,YES!!!

What did you think of the debate? I thought I was too tired to stay awake, but I heard every word.

Nancy said...

Yes, I heard every word of the debate,too and have finally made up my mind for whom I am going to vote:


Joe will make a fine President and Mrs. Plumber a splendid First Lady.....

Darlene said...

Joy, I'm glad you enjoyed them.

Kay, I know most of this stuff has been around the world twice but this is the first time it hit my mail box.

Kenju, I thought McCain was trying very hard to hold his temper. He seemed to be anxious to get all of his talking points in as quick as he could. Obama won again.

Sylvia K said...

These are priceless! Love everyone of them -- even if they are all too true. And just what we need these days -- a good laugh.

One Woman's Journey said...

Darlene I love this. Never heard it before. Passed it on to two of my daughters. Thought maybe they might understand me a little better.
Have a good day my dear friend.

kenju said...

Darlene, thanks for the visit. I started with McAfee (hated it) and went to Norton (paid for it) and it nearly drove me crazy! Now I have downloaded something that Kay D. recommended and I hope to be happy with it.

Claire Jean said...

Thanks so much for the laugh...
I'll be sending this along to others...

Darlene said...

Nancy, you are the hoot!

Sylvia, you are so right. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

Darlene said...

I just found you thru Joy and love your blog.

The's ME!

Mildred Garfield said...

Hi Darlene

I'm glad I didn't miss this post.

They were all terrific. At first I was going to say which one I could relate to but in the end I felt I could relate to ALL of them.

Thanks for a great laugh!!