Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Laugh Long and Hard

I have a busy day scheduled and will only make one comment on the debate. Others have covered it better than I could.

I thought John McCain looked sick. He seemed to be having great difficulty in making a coherent statement and he appeared to be reciting his attack points (Of which there were many) by rote the way a child says his/her ABC's.

Now that I have that out of my system I am going to post another humorous piece for your laugh today.

In the event that you haven't seen this I think you will find it a real tension reliever. Even if you have seen it before it's worth another laugh.

The Problem of Illegal Immigration

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper):

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. 'He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?'

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real effective,' he said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.'

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. 'They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.'

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. 'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many art-history and English majors does one country need?'


~Author Unknown

5 comments:

kenju said...

I lOVE that email!! Hadn't seen that one.

Mortart said...

You ought to send this to Keith Olbermann, the commentator who's on daily at MSNBC, at 6 p.m. EST. It's very funny and, if you deep down into it, a very sad commentary about the political scene.

Rain said...

That was very funny and I had not seen it

Kay Dennison said...

Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlene said...

Mort, i wish I could see Keith Olbermann. I watch his videos on YouTube, but my network doesn;t provide MSNBC. Of course, they do have FOX. Needless to say, I never watch that channel